dorkly:

EA Responds To Being Named ‘The Worst Company in America’

In a recent poll on Consumerist.com, it was decided that Electronic Arts was the worst company in America. This is the second year in a row that EA has taken the top prize. In response, EA’s COO Peter Moore has released this statement.

bramblepatch:

gailsimone:

witchsistah:

popelizbet:

sonic-hip-attack:

canikon-bokeh:

Exactly. 

Imagine a wall full of circular holes, that circles can keep walking in and out of with no difficulty.

Now imagine that the triangles manage to get the resources together, after years of not being able to fit through the circle’s holes, to drill a single triangle space into the wall.

Now imagine that the circle — who previously supported the triangle’s efforts because they are well-rounded (har) and value equality —  comes along and sees the construction project. But instead of being happy, they get angry.

“Well, I won’t be able to fit through your hole!!!!” the circle cries.

“I helped you get the drill!!!!” the circle shrieks.

“Make it fit me too!!!!” the circle demands.

The triangles, barely holding it together enough to get a triangle hole together, stare at the circle in confusion. 

“You have all the holes you need,” the triangles explain. “This is for us. You don’t need to fit through our hole, too.”

“YOU’RE BEING UNEQUAL AND HURTING MY FEELINGS!” the circle wails. “I DON’T SUPPORT YOUR HOLE IF IT DOESN’T FIT ME TOO. GIVE ME MY DRILL BACK.” 

“It’s not your drill, it’s our drill. You helped us get it, because you said you cared.”

“I ONLY CARED WHEN I THOUGHT YOU’D MAKE A HOLE EVERYONE COULD FIT THROUGH. YOU’RE PERPETUATING INEQUALITY!!!”

“Why is it up to us, the small group that has never been able to fit through the wall at all, to make a hole everyone can use? Why isn’t it up to you, the people who have been able to cross back and forth at will for years? We just want to see the other side; why are you yelling at us?”

“I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN A CIRCLE, OMG. I’VE HAD TO WORK HARD ALL MY LIFE TOO. YOU’RE JUST BEING BIGOTED AGAINST ME BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I CAN’T CONTROL, JUST LIKE EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU.”

“You are interfering with our project and asking us to comfort you while we’re trying to make progress. Please leave.”

“I’m going to tell everyone about this,” the circle warns. “Nobody will support you now.”

“Apparently nobody ever did,” the triangles sigh, getting back to work.

even better commentary.

Commentary is all kinds of gospel.

Wow, this is the most astute thing ever.

Meanwhile the pentagons and trapezoids are wondering whether, after all this time stuck behind the wall together, the triangles will help them get holes they can fit through. They’d like to think so, but they have a sinking feeling that they’ll have to deal with the circles’ shit on their own.

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

shibabear:

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE THE SUN SAYS HELLO

wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:

princeharrehs:

princeharrehs:

omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!

guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just

I ship it

scolipediddy:

u old butt

im such an old butt

motherfuckingcheese:

i have forever lost the ability to breath

kindergraph:

i vote and pay taxes

ruttis:

[FURIOUSLY PROCRASTINATES DRAWING BY DRAWING OTHER THINGS]

strikeraider:

deathviashowerskanking:

stopandsmellthedata:

ensanguinedbirdy:

thefandomlyfe:

justlaughit-off:

fancyrussiansushi:

heyitspj:

scuzzmutt:

what is the purpose of training bras??? what are we trying to teach the boobs

they are trained to be the very breast

like no one ever bras

to catch them is my real chest

to train them are my tata’s

I will browse across the store

Trying on every size

Need training bras to understand

THE MAMMARIES INSIDE

noo00oo00oo00oo:

laughingstation:

misha forgets where his microphone is (x)

thexiiithstar:

too-precious-for-this-w0rld:

demeaniac:

i-do-not-know-anymore:

floridahzn:

shychemist:

demeaniac:

I may be cool on the internet but IRL I’m a total failure

Replace flirt with just about any means of social interaction and GPOY.

…so is anyone gonna ship Online X IRL?

… well, NOW I am! Butthead!

…sue me.

tumblr: where you can ship your online and irl self and no one thinks your insane

[[ Dude, I’ve been shipping different parts of myself together for wayyyy longer ]]